Monday, 29 August 2016

Man on Online Dating: An Open Letter

Dear Man on Online Dating,
Thank you for your interest. I'm sorry to have initially concerned you with my glaring lack of a full-body photo. While I generally find it slightly creepy when a complete stranger asks to see a top-to-toe photo of me, I get it. People have a type. That's why I uploaded a photo for you to scrutinise. I figured that was a helpful thing to do.

Imagine my surprise when you say to me, "that's not you... it's obvious you're probably a bigger girl. You don't have to be embarrassed you know."

First things first, it is a photo of me. 
Second things second, yes, I am a "bigger girl".
Third things third, I'm not embarrassed, but clearly you think that I am, or that I should be.
The funny thing is, when I took that photo and uploaded it to Instagram, I captioned it with the words: 
"I would wear this outfit every day of the week. Seems a silly thing to post, but I so rarely feel comfortable in my clothes and this get-up made me feel great. So... Yeah. There's that."

I'm annoyed. I'm not annoyed because you say I'm "obviously a bigger girl" - I know I am, I live in my body, I'm fully aware what it looks like, besides which my profile mentions it under "body type". 
I'm not annoyed that you don't believe that I could look the way I do in the photo in question - wearing all-black, tight jeans and high heels makes me look slimmer than I would in something loose-fitting or knitted. 
Nor am I annoyed that you then told me that I'm "the perfect size for you". It's always just swell to hear that someone finds my body shape attractive. Fab. Marvellous. My body clearly isn't too bootylicious for you, babe.
What annoys me is that you believe that I would be so ashamed of my "bigger" body that I would steal photos to portray as my own because god forbid I am happy to show someone my actual body. I'm annoyed that you think, by fetishising my body type you can counteract this fictional embarrassment. You're an internet stranger with poor grammar, you have nothing to offer me that would in any way affect my self esteem. It annoys me a little that you believe that you could.
Anyway, Man on Online Dating, best of luck in your endeavours to find an "obviously bigger" girl whose self worth is so damaged that she finds your ham-fisted approach in any way effective. Unfortunately that girl is not me.
Me and my fat arse.



  1. I really don't understand how blokes minds work...HOW is this even a conversation started! ERGHHHH! I feel like I need to take a shower!
    Jess @ JuicyyyJesss

  2. I really don't understand how blokes minds work...HOW is this even a conversation started! ERGHHHH! I feel like I need to take a shower!
    Jess @ JuicyyyJesss

  3. baffled absolutely baffled. However as per you handed this excellent. fricking douche

  4. Its really a unique thing in online dating.

  5. Well, yeah, there are a lot of weird people there. But, sometimes you can fing really good persons. I've met my wife two years ago on one of such servicesm here it is

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  7. Thanks for your information, it was really very helpfull..

  8. Online dating has been very much popular these days as it is the easiest way to find a match for yourself. Though it is a helpful one but it too have some demerits. Photos plays an important role in your online profile. Whenever anyone visiting your profile, will first seek for the photographs to make an image of the person in his/her mind. That's why it is really important to add a photo of yours. Anyways, your profile picture is really nice and thanks a lot for sharing this chatting latter openly. online dating safety.


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